When I think back three years ago… I can’t believe all the things I couldn’t do.
My joints were congested and so was my mind. I had no space in my body for movement and freedon, thus no space in my mind for positive thoughts and emotional well-being. My movement practice at Movements Afoot has given me space…has decongested me. I move with freedom. Confidence has filled my new space in my mind. Of course there are always times of emotional set backs, but I know staying with my Pilates practice will ground me, and keep me loving my body at any size.

I love the new Jenny Craig add. Queen Latifah, the current spokes person, emphasizes herself as being a size healthy. That losing up to 5-10% of your body weight and increasing your movement activities decreases your chance of Type 2 diabetes and other life threatening illnesses.

Even prior to my 80-100 pound weight gain I always had a negative tape playing in my head. I knew I had to finally stop the negative dialogue in my mind if only for a little while to start positive changes in my life.

I realized that moving from the inside out was giving me the chance to get to know myself. I never knew what that meant. I never knew that you could really be nice to yourself and really be your own friend…but you can.
• It is so liberating to quiet that negative voice
• to focus on my tailbone
• to actually narrow across my hip bones,
• to feel my back widen from my breath
• to feel my strong hand scapula connection as I open the reformer carriage in control front
• to finally be able to press myself up from the reformer for control back
• to execute long back stretch and twist
• to lift my leg up high while feeling my femur bone roll in the socket and keeping my hips level
• to be able to do a hand stand and a walkover again.

That is the way I have been getting to know myself. My true self. The self that I wake up with and go to sleep with, the self that is with me all the time. A self that is a size healthy and always getting healthier as healthy as I can be.

The traumatic event I went through changed my life. I gained 100 pounds. I eventually recognized things came full circle that night. I realized I had to do something about how my life was going. I felt I was somehow attracting negative things and people to me. I took stock in my life and started to cut out things and people that were abusive and toxic to me. It wasn’t easy. It was very scary. I was facing the unknown. I started to carve and shape my life my way. I commited myself to things that I Ioved to do. I found that in Pilates and in my mentors Lesley Powell and Doris Pasteurel Hall and in Movements Afoot and all the people there.

So now I am finally able to share what I found at Movements Afoot with others.

The class is called:

Bring Your Own Beautiful Body (BYOBB)

A class for body image, weight issues, overall health and self-love.

This class is for you:

• If you feel self-conscious, whether you are at work, with friends, or home alone.
• You have anxiety about the way you look or move.
• You feel everyone is watching you.
• Trying to take care of yourself.
• Trying to put yourself first.
• To exercise for your health.
• But are not doing so because underlying you don’t feel good in your skin.

Come to Movements Afoot for a free event to taste a new experience a new way to appreciate and love your body, February 28, 2008 from 6 – 7 PM. Discover the world of Pilates, and dreams of wellness and fitness and most of all self -love. For more information call Movements Afoot (212) 904-1399

This class is taught from a place of knowing and compassion.
Discover real love of your body.

Movements Afoot is offering a BYOBB free event on February 28, 2008 from 6 –7 PM by Kimberly Fielding, a senior Pilates teacher. Ongoing classes will be taught in March.

Some thoughts…in reponse to my first blog

Obesity: The Connection of BodyMind Spirit and Pilates

I first wanted to thank everyone for their support. I was so surprised and deeply touched with all the outpouring of sweet, compassionate, loving messages. It means so much to me.

After I wrote the last blog, I realized I never felt good about my body. Even when I was 80 – 100 pounds less, I always felt fat and not good enough. No one else knew those feelings plagued me…I knew, but I always thought they were natural.

Now as I work with so many clients, so many bodies I see they are all so beautiful. There is not one person whom I have worked with where I have not seen their mind and body as a piece of exquisite art. I wonder why I never appreciated my body as I danced, moved, lived and functioned in this world? Probably others saw me as I saw them. That’s when I started to wonder why I felt that way.

With all the response I received to The Wrong Fork in the Road, I want to start a class which would focus on weight and body image. Which would include Pilates and movement exercise movement, in a safe, non-judgemental environment. Please let me know if there is any interest in this type of class.

Kim

The connection of Bodymind Spirit and Pilates
By Kim Fielding

I had big plans. I felt my whole life was ahead of me. My career as a Health/Fitness and movement professional was coming together, I had big plans but on December 24th, 2003 my plans ended. Eating and my weight were never a problem. Movement, exercising and staying fit was my whole life. I was once your everyday girl struggling to stay within that ever-daunting 5 pounds, more or less. I wish all I had to struggle with was my 5 pounds weight loss goal and achieving my big plans.

On December 24th, 2003 a traumatic event took place and from that moment on my life spun out of control. I did not have the coping skills to deal with what had happened to me. I sank into a deep depression with emotional eating as my coping mechanism. I resigned from my job…my friends…I resigned from life.

I stayed inside and compulsively binged on food. I gained 80 pounds. I was no longer superficially struggling with my self-image it was a real problem. Mind you…I tasted nothing…I felt nothing I didn’t know who I was and no sense of my spirit. I wanted to become invisible…to disappear…the irony of my growing size doesn’t escape me. I didn’t think, I just kept eating and protecting myself with layers of skin and fat. No one would know who I was.

I finally completed my mission to destroy myself. My brother took me away to Florida and no one looked at me. Not a soul. Not a man or a woman. I was not acknowledged. It seemed strange, but I felt better. I didn’t have to deal with any one. I could push everyone away…the cat calls, the looks…the predators.

It had been months since I felt my spirit. A friend of mine asked me to be a student of hers while she completed her hours to be a certified Pilates instructor at Movements Afoot. I walked in and right away I knew I was in a healing, supportive environment and it would become the right place, right time and right people to help me start my recovery.

In that first Pilates session my friend was teaching me and to my shock I felt something in my core…

I felt something that reminded me of me…
I felt the essence of me…
I felt the real me.
I felt my spirit, twinge to a small degree.

…it was time to journey back from the depths of my depression.

After connecting to Pilates in this way I made a conscious choice to become a Pilates Instructor through the guidance and support of my Master teachers Doris Pasteleur Hall and Lesley Powell; I found myself on the most profound journey of my life.

My Pilates journey didn’t stop my emotional eating. I was still gaining weight probably another 20 pounds.

During my Pilates Certification training, my teacher had asked me how my ‘teaching’ was doing?
I said my teaching is doing great. I can teach people things like engage their pelvic floor muscles, but I can’t engage my pelvic floor muscles. She said sometimes when a traumatic experience happens, we disconnect. I couldn’t believe it, it was right in front of my face. I completely disconnected from parts of me – Body, mind and spirit.

I felt so self-conscious about my body. Especially being the biggest one in the program and of course I thought the biggest one in the world.

I found out that my weight had nothing to do with my movement. It had a lot to do with my fear…my self-esteem…and my negative thought patterns…my self-loathing…my self-judgment…my feelings of inadequacy and my anger.

Pilates and movement were the answer for me. Pilates connected me to my strength inside and out. It helped me focus on what my body can do, and not what it looks like to others or myself. I discovered that I am a great mover even with being overweight and still dealing with emotional scarring. It has changed how I see my own body image. It has helped me to appreciate my body’s ability to learn and move regardless of my size. I like how I look.

The December 24th, 2003 traumatic event was an experience that hurt me deeply. Please know time and movement will heal.

While teaching at Movements Afoot I want to help all voluptuous, curvaceous, women and big men to know the beauty of their own body.